I had one of those bittersweet mom moments yesterday morning.

I took the kids to school but instead of going through the drop off circle, I parked because I had to go in and talk with Bubba’s teacher.

Usually when I walk the kids in, Lullibell reaches down and grabs my hand.  This morning was no exception. Okay, maybe it was.  This morning she reached down and took my hand but then after only a second her hand fluttered away like a butterfly.  As she walked ahead of me I smiled and told her to have a great day.  She turned back briefly and smiled at me.  And then she was gone.

My momma instinct was to grab hold and never, ever, ever let go.  I quickly realized that this was not the way to go.  But, oh, it hurts.

I am caught in that circle of wanting to hold on, keep them babies…and, yet, letting go and watching them grow.  I want to hold their hands and walk with them but I want them to become strong and independent, too.

So for now…I let them walk into the school the way they want.  If they want to be on their own I let them.  If they want to hold on, I hold on too…

Advertisements