“We can’t presume to teach someone manners.”-Alice Evans, 3:10 to Yuma.
This little bit of sanity is uttered during a scene in the movie where the family is sitting down to dinner with a contingent of law men, bounty hunters, railroad enforcers and one very bad man that is being taken to Yuma where he will ultimately be sentenced to death for leading a gang of bandits that have murdered more than their share of railroad agents.
Alice says these words to her son who is trying to get the bad guy to pray over the evening meal with the rest of the family.
She’s right.
Recently there has been a lot of interesting conversation between atheists and theists on a few of my favorite blogs. Good open conversation with very little input from the lurker crowd.
Let there be no mistake both groups must take ownership of a few lurkers. These are people who just can’t help but inject venom into any conversation about God. We get to hear from one set about how people are going to go to hell and we get to hear from another about how irrational, uninformed, and uneducated some people are.
I just read how one commentor just wanted to make people aware of the craziness.
I am aware. I think most of us are aware.
And in the blogosphere as in day to day life I agree with Alice…we can’t presume to teach people manners.
We also can’t presume to make people believe what we believe. When people look at me I want them to see that first and foremost I am a kind and loving person. The rest will follow as it always does.
I don’t need to proclaim my beliefs in a loud shout. I need to live a life of loving kindness and service to my fellow man. When I choose to pray, I don’t need to do it with the showmanship of a televangelist. I do it quietly and from the heart. Do I need to announce to you what I am praying about? No. Does it make me any less strong in my belief than the person who screams and shouts? I don’t believe that it does. Am I willing to share what I believe with anyone who asks? You bet. Do I feel the need to push my beliefs on anyone else? Absolutely not.
I think Alice had it right. Let’s not be presumptuous about anyone else’s manners until we take a look at our own.
Update: I just read another comment on one of my favorites about how googoo eyed and dumb one group is. C’MON PEOPLE!!! Where’s the love?
Can’t we agree to disagree without being ugly to one another?
Read all about it on John Shore’s blog and on Sean’s.
March 4, 2008
wineymomma
13 responses to “Manners”
Shorty
March 4th, 2008 at 11:27
You never cease to amaze me little lady. Another good one.
writingtalent
March 4th, 2008 at 11:40
What a very nice column. Thanks, I see you on my other favorite blog (johnshoreland), and appreciate this one.
Shorty: You may mean “cease” as in: To come to an end; to stop; to leave off or give over; to desist; as, the noise ceased “To cease from strife.”
homoeconomicusnet
March 4th, 2008 at 14:30
We can always be good mannered even with a frank exchange of views that may differ.
And if there is a Russell Crowe film at the end of it I especially promise to be on good behaviour 🙂
wineymomma
March 4th, 2008 at 15:52
I always enjoy a good Russell Crowe movie too. This one was particularly gory and he looked far to at home playing a social malcontent.
And by the way I seize shorty all the time-usually make her seize up in a fit of laughter!!!
Sean the Blogonaut
March 4th, 2008 at 20:16
We can’t presume to teach people manners,but we can say to a person that their actions may be percieved as impolite and or are unecessary.
If you are refering to awareness of atheism, Winey I think you are lucky to have a very liberal Christian approach, you are my kind of christian if you don’t mind me saying so, you use christ as a positive motivator and I am fine with that.
I think back to a point that HM brought up – saying that he politely disagreed with everything I believed in. I think he was making an assumption based on me being an Atheist. And I responded with the notion that while our views on religion and politics are probably at odds, that we might have more in common than not.
Summer, who was doing the awareness raisng about Crazy Christians has very fundamentalist relatives, I on the other hand was blessed by a liberal Catholic upbringing and have Christian parents, and have an undecided sister, so that gives you some context.
Unfortunately in text we lose tone, and body language so things can be misconstrued.
On being loud and proud – a regularly wear shirts and slogans displaying my Atheism. Is this in your face – I guess it is, but it is an attempt to raise awareness, to garner debate and I always make sure that the slogan references me, not anyone else and I don’t wear them all the time:)
I don’t think Christians need to be as vocal, they are not a minority, they are not disadvantaged.
and I went off Russell Crowe, not as good as he was in his early days 🙂
wineymomma
March 4th, 2008 at 20:34
I personally liked your infidel shirt! Still thinking of ordering one of those for myself!
I agree with you that I don’t think Christians need to be as vocal because usually we end up embarrassing ourselves, or someone like us, if we do.
I also hate for assumptions to be made for alot of reasons but I like the cute little spelling game-because to assume makes an ass out of u and me.
And I should have thanked Summer for giving me that point of jumping off. She inspired me!
wineymomma
March 4th, 2008 at 20:43
I mention in my post about having been attacked on another website by another Christian. This woman told me I would be going to Hell for consorting with blasphemers.
I was a bit shocked to say the least for a couple of reasons. One-she was there first. Two I am always surprised by the vehemence that seems present when someone says that!
Sean the Blogonaut
March 4th, 2008 at 21:17
I think it comes down to fear. If you are confident and secure in your beliefs then what others say or do should not worry you.
sjsmart
March 5th, 2008 at 03:02
Visit my blog to see the special award you’ve been given – Jenn
http://ltwis.wordpress.com
Shorty
March 5th, 2008 at 20:15
Sorry about using the wrong word. It has definitely not been a good week for me. I’ll try to do better next time.
wineymomma
March 6th, 2008 at 07:22
aah it happens to the best of us!
notgoth
March 6th, 2008 at 22:17
wow this is a really nice post WM – this attitude I think does more good for your beliefs than screaming and wagging fingers or any other holier than thou attitude.
Ruth
March 8th, 2008 at 18:30
Well said. Nice post.
Thanks, Wm.